Why You Shouldn't Coach Your Kids from the Stands (And What You Should Be Asking Them Instead)
Robert Hunter- Apr 29
- 4 min read
By Coach Robert Hunter | No Excuse Produce Youth AAU Basketball Training Program
If you’ve ever watched your child step onto a basketball court, you know that feeling...Your heart races,
your voice is ready to shout directions, you want the absolute best for them, you want them to succeed — because you love them. But today, as a coach, a parent, and someone who has spent years working with young athletes at No Excuse Produce, I want to share a truth that isn’t always easy to hear:
Coaching your child from the stands often does more harm than good.
In fact, it can rob your child of the very experiences they need to grow — on and off the court. The Sideline Pressure They Feel (Even When You Don’t Mean It). When kids hear parents yelling instructions during a game — "Shoot it!" "Pass!" "Box out!" — it doesn’t feel supportive. It feels like pressure and pressure often leads to fear.
Instead of playing freely, they start second-guessing. Instead of learning to trust their instincts, they freeze up, trying to avoid "making a mistake" and disappointing someone they love most. When you coach from the stands, even with the best intentions, you unintentionally create confusion.
Your child already has a coach giving directions — and now they feel torn between two voices.
This tug-of-war in their mind can steal the very joy that makes youth sports magical.
What Your Kids Really Need From You
More than anything, kids need support, encouragement, and unconditional love when they play sports. Not critiques. Not play-by-play corrections.
They need to know that their value isn’t tied to their performance.
They need to know that it’s okay to fall short sometimes — and that you’re proud of them simply for stepping on the court, working hard, and being part of something bigger than themselves.
Ask These Three Game-Changing Questions Instead
After every game, every practice, every tournament weekend — resist the urge to "break down" what they could have done better. Instead, ask them these three simple, powerful questions:
Did you have fun? Because if they didn’t, why would they want to keep playing? Joy is the fuel for improvement. No fun = no future in the game.
Did you learn something new today? Growth is the goal. Winning is great, but did they grow their skills? Adversity is not the enemy — it’s the teacher. These are the moments that shape character. And isn’t that why we want our kids involved in sports in the first place?
Did they sit on the bench and stay ready to contribute when called?
The Long Game: Raising Resilient, Joyful Young Adults
At No Excuse Produce, we believe in the long game. We believe that basketball is the tool — not the destination. We aren’t just building better players. We’re building better people. Young men and women who can: Overcome challenges, handle setbacks with grace, be great teammates in life, lead with humility,
stay hungry-yet grounded...That’s why we coach the way we do. That’s why we ask the questions we do.
That’s why we invite parents to partner with us — not as sideline coaches, but as unwavering encouragers.
Your voice matters. Your attitude in the stands shapes your child’s experience. Your commitment to focusing on fun, growth, and resilience gives your child the freedom to fall in love with the game for the right reasons.
An Invitation to Our Basketball Family
If you’re reading this, you’re already part of something special. The No Excuse Produce family isn’t just about basketball. It’s about community. It’s about lifting each other up. It’s about believing that the young people we invest in today will become the leaders we all look up to tomorrow. And today, we want to invite you to help us keep building that future.
We are currently raising funds to host Team Banquets for our NEP players — celebrations that recognize their hard work, growth, and perseverance. These banquets are more than a party — they’re a statement.
A statement that every kid who put in the work, who stayed committed, who showed up for their team deserves to be honored.
✅ If No Excuse Produce has impacted your child…
✅ If you believe in our mission of building strong, resilient young leaders…
✅ If you want to be part of something bigger than just basketball…
Please consider contributing to our Fundraiser for NEP Team Banquets.
Every dollar helps create memories that will last a lifetime.
👉 [Click here to support the NEP Banquet Fundraiser today!]
Together, we can continue to build a community where kids are celebrated for who they are — not just how many points they score.
Thank you for being part of the journey.
Thank you for believing in your child.
And thank you for believing in the power of sports to change lives.
With Gratitude,
Coach Robert Hunter
Founder and Program Director, No Excuse Produce Youth AAU Basketball Training Program
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